Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Dear Boobs (Again),

Dear Boobs,

Last time we spoke, I was promising you that I would do everything in my power to perk you up after putting in months upon months of hard labor.

And of course, I failed you.

After 22 months of service to my first child, you quickly found yourself back in the labor force when child number two rolled into town.

Yes, you were a champ while we went through the motions, but to be honest, you were very bitchy about the whole thing throwing me curve balls left and right with your clogged ducts and engorgement issues.

I get it; you were pissed off at me because I failed you in my promise.

But things happen, life gets in the way, children come along and need to be nourish!

Just because you were unhappy about the situation didn’t mean you had to protest in your mean-spirited way and force me to spend hours with a heating pad on my chest, taking Advil round the clock to ease your stubbornness.

You could have handled the whole situation with some class, that’s all I’m saying.

And now that breastfeeding relationship number two is coming to an end, I’d like to be the bigger person in the whole deal and extended a hand and give you a healthy pat on the back.

I want to be a sophisticated lady and reward you for a job well done and ask that if you could just finish out the next few weeks with some pride that I promise you that you will get a break.

I promise to buy you a fancy bra to hang out in, some good sweet smelling lotion to lather you in and to take extra good care of you.

Can you do this for me, please?

Thanks so much,


Anonymous said...

Very well said!
-Sara O'B

Becca Bernstein said...

Hilarious! And so true!
~Becca B

rajean said...

Gonna pump this post up, because I can so relate. While I'm an advocate of breastfeeding, it's nice to get them back. Might I suggest Benefit lotion: Touch Me & Try To Leave.

Kadi Prescott said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE this letter. I think that all nursing moms should have a copy of this!

Christine - From Dates to Diapers said...

I am so there. right now. And my boobs aren't being so cooperative...