Sunday, April 3, 2011

Redirection

I am still dealing with certain family drama and I'm not really sure that I'm handling it properly.

Only because the other day I took out  my frustration with my family drama on my child by threatening to throw all her toys away (in my defense, the kid has tons of toys).

That threat (obviously hollow) led to her freaking out on me and her having a major temper tantrum (something she rarely does, but that's a whole different blog post).

As she's crying in my arms, I realized that the whole thing was my fault because I was directing all that frustration in the wrong direction, leading me to feel like the shittiest parent on the earth.

Now, I'm sure I'm not the only parent that has ever done this, or the last.

But it shocked me to my core.

I was mortified as I retold my husband the details of the event.

And it made me stop and remember that my daughter never deserves any of my frustration.

And even though this family drama is far from over, I am doing everything in my power to stop, take a calm breath and remember how lucky I am. That my kids did not cause  any of this drama, therefore do not need to deal with it.

So what I do is separate myself from the person who is upset about family drama and remember to be the mother who is loving, supportive and gives tons of hugs.

And that I have the best kids in the world and deserve the best Mom in the world.

5 comments:

The Not So Perfect Housewife said...

oh dear. So sorry to hear about that.
I remember going through some things when my girls were younger and taking the stress and such out on them.
I would lay in bed at night and tell my husband that I've totally screwed them up for the rest of their lives..
But God is kind.. I think He erases those things from their mind if we ask ;-). Not really.. but they don't remember me being a crazy lady.. too much.
I hope you can distance yourself in some way from this drama or at least be able to destress yourself in some way ..
Blessings

Nanette ~ A Mom Blog said...

No, you certainly aren't the only mom to ever do this. I think we all have at times. So, even when it's hard take some time out for yourself even if it's only 5 or 10 minutes. You'd be amazed at how much better you feel. I'm sure your daughter won't hold this over your head. It has probably already been forgotten and all she knows is mommy loves her.

ConnieFoggles said...

Please don't blame yourself. We all make mistakes. The good thing is that you've realized that the stress is getting to you and making a big change. You sound like a wonderful mom!

Jessica said...

You're a great mom, so keep your chin up. Family drama sucks and unfortunately, sometimes our emotions get the best of us. I have done the same and afterwards feel like such a horrible parent! Just remember to find an outlet for the drama, kick your running into high gear to rid your mind of it. Good luck and hugs to you!

rajean said...

An honest & good reminder that we're human, we make mistakes, we're no where close to perfect and we're not alone. You stepped back and realized your blessings and recognized your shortcomings. You shared with us so we can do the same. Thanks!