Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Mommy Failure

After five weeks of sitting in the house, I had had enough.

Today was the day, I had decided.

The Great Grandmother wanted to take us out shopping and out to lunch so it was the perfect opportunity for the Turtle to make her debut into the world. A shopping trip with an extra pair of arms to help me control any chaos that would erupt.

I should've known better.

Honestly, I'm not a newcomer to this whole Mom thing, I should've known!

I had a twitch in my brain that was saying this was a bad idea when Turtle started screaming even before we left the house. She was inconsolable for about twenty minutes. Not the boob, not the pacifier, not the pacing or rocking, nothing was helping this child out.

But when we stepped outside to get fresh air, she immediately calmed down so I, silly me, assumed her tears had passed.

We weren't inside the first store for three whole minutes before the crying started up again. I wandered around, bouncing her on my hip thinking she would quit as long as I was moving.

Errrrrr! Wrong again, stupid.

I ended up outside pacing the storefront with a red-faced shrieking baby while Great Grandma and Roo finished gooing over all the Easter stuff.

So off to lunch we went. I insisted we eat outside just in case Turtle started acting up again. She cried a few times, but nothing too serious so I have to say that lunch was the only success of the whole day (besides the cute Carter's outfit I snagged for Roo).

She fell asleep at the restaurant and stayed that way until we reached our next stop. I had it in my head that we would run into the store, find Roo an Easter dress and out we would be again.

Turtle did good for about fifteen minutes, then she'd had enough and proceeded to tell the entire store that she was unhappy.

Again I found myself outside pacing the storefront.

And you know what, the poor child did not stop crying until we reached home and I settled her on my boob. Then (THEN!) she finally stopped crying and eventually dropped off to sleep in her swing.

And then (THEN!) I crashed.

Exhausted, both physically and mentally.

There's nothing like an unhappy child to make every last ounce of energy to drain out of your body.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I've Said This Before.

People sometimes tend to get mad at me because I don't disclose a ton of information.

Sometimes I don't say anything at all... and it gets lots of people in an uproar.

I know I've discussed this before on my blog, but it's just one of those things that bothers me and needs to be typed out just to make me feel better.

Like when Roo was diagnosed with a heart murmur and another horribly long condition that I can't spell to save my life.

I didn't want to talk about.

I just clammed up and kept my tears welling inside.

I knew that if I started making the rounds of phone calls that I wouldn't make it through the day. I would've crumpled up into a quivering heap of tears and would've been no use to Roo at all.

So I never said anything.

Still to this day some people have no clue that we went through that.

It's only easy to talk about now because it's been 2 1/2 years and I am only now able to discuss the imperfections that make my baby unique (She'll always be sheer perfection to me).

I'm not sure what my tight-lips stem from. Maybe I've been scarred too many times from letting my lips slack. Maybe I've just learn to value my privacy and have learned that there's no need to share everything with everyone... just my hubby... and Angela, poor thing knows too much about my life (Sorry Ang).

Maybe I'm just growing up and learning to appreciate the true friends I have in life.

Or maybe I'm too tired from lack of sleep and dealing with a gassy baby to have the time to make the rounds.

I'm going with the first option.

Monday, March 29, 2010


The past few nights have been something of a success.

I finally managed to swaddle the Turtle. She looks exactly like a burrito, all wrapped up. And wouldn't you know it, she's sleeping 10x better.

Last night she slept seven hours straight!

Something Roo never accomplished until she was almost one!

Of course, Roo didn't scream non-stop for an hour despite all our fevered attempts to calm her.

But she slept!

I don't know about you, but I'll take seven straight hours of sleep any day!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Dear Roo: Three Years

The day we celebrated your third birthday, I was a jumbled mess of emotions.

Why, You ask?

Because I couldn't believe how fast time has flown by since you've came into my life. Also because I can't believe what a big girl you are. I do believe how smart you are and how wonderful you are with your sister. I always knew you would be an amazing child.

You've grown into a beautiful child that is so much fun to play with. I love how you put all the marker caps on your fingers and chase me around with them. I adore how you help out in the garden, dig holes in the riding ring and make it a point to pet your favorite horses everyday. It makes me smile that you love dinosaurs so much and insist on carrying around your two foot tall T-Rex everywhere. When you insist he guards you while you shower and sleep at night, I smile and know that this is only further proof that you are the most fascinating child ever.

You never fail to find the humor in what you do. You are always smiling and laughing and I am so lucky that you are an easy child, especially now that we have Turtle in the picture.

The way you ignore her cries in the middle of the night amazes me, the way you comfort her cries in the day moves me. You share your toys, play with her and love to take baths with her. I hope you are going to be the best of friends.

I know I've always said you were a genius child, but now you are proving it to the world. You can spell your name, count to ten, read all your flash cards with expertise and identify colors with no problems. In no time at all you'll be outsmarting your Mama and Daddy.

I love you so much Roo... so so much.


Thursday, March 25, 2010

Savoring the Silence

Night is really hard on us.

At night Turtle tends to cry for about two to three hours... and it's not the cute baby whimpering that everyone coos over.

Turtle's cry are made of something called: Pissed Off Baby (sold in fine baby stores everywhere).

The cries that come forth from my one month olds mouth are the kind that vibrate through your ears and rattle your brain.

These cries are the kind that transform even the most adorable baby into a red faced shrieking banshee.

Two hours, minimum.

But you know the funny thing, the rest of the day... she's an angel. She's the cute baby from the movies, all sweet and cuddly and quiet.

The doctor says its not colic because colic starts at two weeks, not one month.

Maybe she just doesn't like the dark?

Or maybe she just doesn't like me?

As soon as the sun goes down I'm a nervous bundle that has worn holes in her carpet from all the pacing. I'm the perfect picture of a craved Mom with crazy hair, puke on her shirt (Turtle loves to nurse and then spit up all over me) and is spewing curse words at her husband for making too much noise.

But come sunrise, I am the happiest Mama on the block. I'm cool and calm and relaxed. I've got the perfect baby.

And I love every minute of it.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

9 Years Ago

Nine years ago today, I married my best friend.

And in those nine years we've produced two beautiful daughters, bought two homes, traveled to Mexico and Central America, changed jobs, started three businesses, bought two deuces, moved in and out of the barn numerous times, earned two college degrees and realized just how much we truly love each other.

I am truly blessed with this one.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Retraining An Idiot

Ever since Roo was little, she's been a little on the... hefty side.

When she was four months she was 18 pounds and since that doctor's visit, I've been freaked out in the back of my head. Silently I've been worrying about her being an overweight baby.

Every doctor's visit since that four month check up I've been hounding the poor man about her weight. And at every visit, he has reassured me that she's perfectly healthy.

Until her check up today.

He said she needs to lose her belly.

That soft squishy belly I love to kiss, it's got to go.

He said that if she says she is hungry to feed her water and salad.

And I'm in shock.

Of course, I knew her belly wasn't the best thing for her to be carting around. But most babies have bellies and I just was reassuring myself this was normal.

And it's not like I was filling her up with mac and cheese and chicken nuggets three times a day. Once a week, sure... but not everyday.

And yes, like every kid she does have the occasion treat... so I didn't think I was being a bad parent.

Now I feel like a horrible parent.

I feel like everything I've cooked has been poison.

To stop the cycle I've got to retrain myself. I need to learn to cook healthier, make better choices for my daughter(s).

And while I really have no clue where to start, all I can say is thank god for Google!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Swaddling? I wish!

When Roo was a baby, I swaddled her.

Swaddling allowed me to catch an extra hour of sleep during the night. I loved swaddling because of this. I boasted about it to everyone who would listen. I would tell them you must swaddle!

So I had plans to be a swaddler for Miss Turtle.

She was swaddled at the hospital with no problems, so I thought we were on the right path.


Every time I try to swaddle the little nugget, she fusses.

Oh, boy... does she fuss!

She hates having her legs straight and her arms pinned down. She hates it! Hates it! Hates it!

She wiggles and squirms until her arms are out and her legs are all scrunched up and she's mad...

Mad. Mad. Mad.

And I miss it... my sleep, that is.

If anyone has any suggestions, please, drop me a line.

I would love to add an hour to our sleeping routine at night.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Happy & Healthy Mom Review: Glow Baby

I don’t know about you but when I go to the doctor’s for my daughter’s checkup, I tend to freeze up and get nervous when he questions me about the amount of diapers my daughter goes through. Or when he wants the specifics on how long she nurses and on which side.

I always feel like it’s a mid-term that I didn’t study for.

Truth be told, I’m always running around like a chicken who had its head cut off and keeping track of such things can be difficult.

If it were easier to keep track of, I would.

Enter Glow Baby’s Baby’s First Journal.

Baby’s First Journal is a feeding, sleeping and diapering log made specifically for busy Moms like me.

With the Baby First Journal I just jot down the specifics, even when I’m half asleep, and if I need to reference a feeding or a dirty diaper I can just flip back to the date and there it is.

Designed by Lindsay Harris, she wanted to create a comprehensive tool that was helpful and portable for parents.

No bulky binders here.

Lindsay’s goal was to “allow parents to review their child’s schedule, spot patterns and better understand their newborns needs.” Glow Baby also provides other helpful tools such as the Baby’s First Food Journal, Medicine Pads, To Do Lists Shopping Lists and Sitter Notes

All items can be purchased directly from the Glow Baby website.
Disclosure: This post was done as a part of the Happy and Healthy Mom Product Review Team. I received this product for free in return for my honest opinion. Please see my full disclosure for more information.

Sleeping In.

The one bright light in having a child that is up for 1-2 hours at night is that she sleeps in.

Today, she was up from 5-7 and while it was fun and all, I love that she is still sleeping (and it's 10 to 10!).

Of course (isn't there always an of course?), this means we all sleep in... including Roo, which makes her nap a struggle.

I've considered wiping out the nap all together, but I do love it if they both nap together and I get to sit on the couch and do nothing.

Or catch up on work, or do laundry or tackle the pile of dishes that grows overnight.

But the point is, I tend to sleep into 9am to catch up for whatever sleep I miss during the night. And I love it.

I also love that my daughter is a month old today.

A month!

It feels like she's been here the whole time.


Thursday, March 18, 2010

Only Because I Want To Jynx Myself

I seemed to have stumbled upon a pattern that helps deter any night-time partying my child wants to partake in.

And it may not seem like rocket science to some, but to a Mom that loves her sleep (or hell, any Mom), I feel like I've solved some giant mathematics problem.

The key to getting a baby to sleep at night: wake her up during the day!

Like I said, rocket science.

The past two days Turtle has been awake at least 6 hours during the day and it greatly reduces the amount of time she's awake in the middle of the night.

I like her to be awake at least 3 hours during the day and I push for 2-3 hours after bedtime.

She hits the hay around 9pm and I actually get time to breath, time to hang out with my husband and shower un-interrupted.

Just typing that sentence makes me breath a sigh of relief.

Of course, I am a reasonable Mommy and know that the rug can (and most likely will) be pulled out from under me and because I typed this blog, the little stinkerbell will be up all night and tomorrow I will be sobbing tears on my keyboard as I complain to my readers.

Ah, the life I lead.

Ain't it grand?

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Review: Bravado Sublime Nursing Bra

I put my nursing bras through the paces when I use them.


I have already busted the lace in one and the elastic in another has just crapped out on me.

And I’ve only been nursing for 25 days!

The only one that has held out and is doing a beautiful job of it is my Bravado Sublime nursing bra.

And when I say beautiful, I mean it. I mean this thing doesn’t even look like a nursing bra. It’s not ugly and blah. It’s quite the opposite.

It’s creamy and lacy and sexy!

I have to admit, when I wear it, I feel 10x better about the post-partum belly and leaking boobs.
The entire Bravado nursing line is designed this way. Owner by two Moms who know what nursing Moms need in a bra, Bravado pays attention to details.

Bravado nursing bras can be purchased directly from their website.

Disclosure: The Bravado Sublime Nursing Bra was provided for me in return for my honest opinion. All thoughts are my own. For my full disclosure policy, please click here

Being a Mom is Hard.... Sometimes

Adjusting to life with a new baby is hard sometimes.

Sure, 99% of the time life is grand and you spend hours upon hours gazing at your new baby with wonder and awe. You are overjoyed at changing diapers and dealing with hot spit up rolling down your post-partum bumps.

But that 1%, which normally comes at midnight, isn't as pretty as all the baby books describe it.

At midnight and any hour past, you are a hormonal wreck that is running on little sleep and little patience.

You will find yourself giving your husband the evil eye and inventing ways in your head you can throw the TV controller at his head and blame it on the baby.

At midnight you are fresh to this mothering thing, no matter how many children you've birthed, and confused as to why your newborn is crying.

At least that's me.

Last night Turtle didn't go to bed until 1:30am, which would be totally cool with me, if I had gotten any sleep during the day (like she did).

This of course could be construed as my fault because as she slept peacefully through the day, I thought: Let's let her take the lead on this whole sleeping thing.

I let her sleep when she wanted and was rewarded with this long, long, LONG night.

It would've also been totally cool if she hadn't had been screaming her head off for a good two hours (total) between 9:00pm and 1:30am... but she was.

For no good reason (in my husband's and my own opinions), she cried... and cried... and cried.

Thankfully she did not wake up Roo, who had passed out at 8:00pm like the good three year old she is.

I felt completely out of control (of the situation). Everything I tried didn't please her.

The swaddling (that Roo loved and adored), she fought it.

The swing, she hated it.

Me, alternating with my husband, walking her in circles, nope.

The funny (I can only laugh now that it's morning) thing was that she would be screaming then all of a sudden close her eyes and drift off into sleep, only to fill up her diaper.

Now, I can't let her stew in her own poo!

So of course I got up and changed her... which in turn woke her up and started the process all over again.

I'm not sure what happened at 1:30am which made her pass out, I'm just grateful for whatever it was that allowed myself and my husband to finally fall asleep.

There was one good thing to come out of this whole fiasco, she slept for six hours straight.

It was glorious.

But I still woke up feeling like a truck ran me over.

So today I'm taking back the lead reins and making sure she's awake for a few hours at a time. I am not going to become a night owl and neither is she.

Wish me luck.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Happy Birthday Roo

Today is a super emotional day for me.

Today my oldest turns three... and that turns me into a bumbling, watery eyed Mama who wants to weep.

From the moment she was placed in my arms, I was hooked on her. And in the past three years she has grown and become this little girl that has hooked everyone around her. She is vibrant. She is crazy. She is an angel. She is a devil... and she looks just like her Daddy.

She is my heart.

Happy Birthday to my baby.

Friday, March 12, 2010

All Dryed Out

Another fun after-effect of having a baby is the night sweats.

Night after night I wake up soaked in my own sweat.

Gross, I know.

But sweating it out is how your body gets rid of all the water you retained during pregnancy. Plus with nursing I'm told you sweat even more. Meaning I shall be sweating at night for some time to come.

Lovely, huh?

Another problem I'm having (I'm full of them today) is that because of the sweating, my skin is feeling all dried out.

The skin around the tips of my fingers are peeling, my feet are unusually dry and my lips are so chapped it's disturbing.

I feel like a good soak in a vat of lotion would help, though I imagine very messy.

Any suggestions, ladies?

FYI: this entire post was typed one handed while cuddly a sleeping baby in the other. I truly am a multi-taskin' mama!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Rare Moments

No matter how much a Mommy loves her children, sometimes she needs time away.

And I love, love, love my girls, but even I need a moment to breathe by myself.

In my case, it's my beloved shower.

My husband watches both the girls and I get five minutes of hot, steamy goodiness all to myself.

Some of the time.

Some of the time I get to stand in the shower and shave my legs in peace. I can wash and condition my hair and if I'm lucky, I can stand there and do absolutely nothing.

Of course the other half of the time I am bombarded with requests to wash toy dinosaurs, hold hands through the shower curtain or hounded about when I will get out so I can feed the crying baby.

And my beloved, blissful moment doesn't exist.

Of course, I love my family and most of the time, happily grant all their requests but when I get those rare moments where no one enters the bathroom while I'm in there, it's a small piece of heaven. I moment where I can close my eyes and ignore everyone.

But when that does happen I get bored after five minutes of steamy yumminess and I usually rush through my shower and get out just so I can spend as much time with them as possible.

Because like I said, I love them.

The life of a Mom, ain't it grand?

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

She's A Funny One.

When you've been spoiled with a toddler for so long, you tend to forget how much effort it takes to get out of the house with a newborn.

With Roo, I check her diaper, brush her hair and teeth and make sure she doesn't have any stains on her clothes and we're out the door.

There's no fuss, no muss.

With Turtle, it's an hour long (sometimes a hour plus) adventure that normally ends with me forgetting something important, like more diapers or wipes.

This morning we had a play date at the park to celebrate Roo's upcoming birthday (yay cupcakes!). So I got Turtle up :45 before we had to leave so I could dress her, feed her and all that glory.

The first comedic act came when she didn't want to nurse. She preferred to stare at the ceiling fan and coo over it for some time. Then after she finally decided to latch on, she was lazy about it and every time I went to take her off, she decided she wanted more.

Then came the diaper fiasco. I would change her and two seconds later, she would dirty it up. We went through four diapers before she was finished (our record is five with Roo). You'd think a Mom would know to wait, but like I've said before I'm super impatient.

Oh, wait. There's more! As soon as I put her clean onesie on, she spit up all over it.

And you know what, it's a good thing I have a sense of humor... all this drama going on before 9:00am would crack a sane person, but not me.

I had no choice but to laugh at her... and show up late to our play date.

It's a good thing my friends understand.


Tuesday, March 9, 2010


No matter how good your baby is (or how cute she is), there will always be one night where you will not get any sleep.

There's always one night in the bunch of good ones that can only be deemed as bad, bad, bad.

It'll be a perfectly normal night and then for no reason, all hell breaks loose and you question your ability as a mother.

Last night was mine.

All was well and going as normal. Spongebath, lotion, book, cuddle... then came the cries, which quickly turned into full-on red faced baby screams.

And you know what, nothing would make it better. From 9:00pm to 11:00 we paced the floor, went outside for fresh air, bounced in place and nursed. We tried every trick in the book. I shoosed in her ear, I tried talking sense to her, we danced.

The only thing that made her happy for a small period of time was Daddy's arms and her swing.

Notice I said small period of time.

I think she must have over-stimulated herself somehow and that peaceful sleep that she and I love so much was shattered.

Roo's sleep was disturbed and she didn't even make it to bed until 11:00pm as well.

Poor thing.

I predict today we all will walk around like zombies craving sugar and caffeine to make it through the day... and we will pray that tonight will be back to normal, if not... we're in trouble.

Like I've said before, it's a good thing she's cute.

Monday, March 8, 2010


Blame it on the sleeplessness.

Blame it on laziness.

Blame it on whatever you want, but I can't think of a single thing to blog about today.

Not one single thing comes to mind.

So no post today, I'm sure I'll be back on my game tomorrow.

If not I'll just post more cute pictures of my daughter.

Either way you win.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Mommy Doesn't Always Know Best

One of my biggest issues is worrying too much about things I really have no control over.

It drives my husband bananas that I worry some damn much about the stupidest things.

I thought I was justified in worrying about getting Turtle on to a schedule, but apparently I was just being my normal self and worrying about nothing.

I mean, in my defense Roo didn't have a schedule and slept like crap. I wanted to make it so Turtle didn't follow that path.

Who really wants to be sleep deprived when you can put her on a schedule?

So for the past week I've been monitoring when she naps and when she's awake. I've been struggling to get her to be awake during certain times of the day hoping I could starve off any late night partying she wanted to do in the middle of the night.

Once again, my husband thought I was crazy. He said I should just let her be, after all she's not even two weeks old. He told me that she's going to do whatever she wants and I can't do a thing about it.

So yesterday, I did just that. I let her be. If she wanted to sleep, she slept. If she woke up, we all played with her.

And you know what, he was right.

She slept great last night. She only got up 3x to feed and went back to sleep afterwards.

It was perfection.

I felt so great when I woke up this morning.

So while I'm fighting my natural instinct to worry about it today, I'm letting her be.

Wish me luck.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Review: Curious George 2

As many of you know, the first few weeks with a brand new baby can be crazy.

Add a toddler into the mix and you can quickly lose your mind.

Thankfully I was sent a new DVD to review that saved my life this past week and also saved Roo's sanity: Curious George 2: Follow that Monkey.

Curious George, also known as Monkey George in our house, is up to his usual tricks in his second full length feature.

From the press release: The world’s most beloved and inquisitive monkey is back in Curious George 2: Follow That Monkey, the fun-filled sequel to the hit animated movie. Join Curious George and The Man with the Yellow Hat as they set out on a madcap cross-country adventure to reunite Kayla, a homesick elephant, with her family. This unlikely trio faces all types of comic calamities and colorful characters and in the end, learn that with family, friends and determination, you can achieve anything."

This movie has been on repeat all week long and I don't mind because the soundtrack of the movie is catchy (yes, it will get stuck in your head) and it helps keep my toddler happily occupied for 1 hour and 21 minutes.

Curious George 2: Follow that Monkey hits shelves today.

Disclosure: This DVD was provided to me for free in return for my honest review of the movie. Please see my full disclosure statement for more information.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Mmmm, peanut butter

The one thing I don’t miss about being pregnant is the heartburn.

Oh, the heartburn.

It was horrible.

And of course, I’m one of those fools that hates to take medicine so I had to deal with the heartburn with nothing but cold milk. Sure, it helped but I drank so much milk that I was buying a gallon a day!

Everything I ate would give me the burn, especially peanut butter.

And if you know me, you know I LOVE peanut butter.

I could eat peanut butter all day… and now that I’m not pregnant and not experiencing the pain of heartburn I am.

Everyday since Turtle was born I’ve had peanut butter and banana sammiches for lunch.

Oh, and those peanut butter patty Girl Scout cookies my hubby bought me, they were no match for me.

But I’m getting off track (peanut butter does that to me), the heartburn sucked and I don’t miss it one bit.

I also don’t miss the waddling, the inability to sleep on my back, the uncontrollable cravings and the acne.

But I sure do love the end result.