Mommy Failure

After five weeks of sitting in the house, I had had enough.

Today was the day, I had decided.

The Great Grandmother wanted to take us out shopping and out to lunch so it was the perfect opportunity for the Turtle to make her debut into the world. A shopping trip with an extra pair of arms to help me control any chaos that would erupt.

I should've known better.

Honestly, I'm not a newcomer to this whole Mom thing, I should've known!

I had a twitch in my brain that was saying this was a bad idea when Turtle started screaming even before we left the house. She was inconsolable for about twenty minutes. Not the boob, not the pacifier, not the pacing or rocking, nothing was helping this child out.

But when we stepped outside to get fresh air, she immediately calmed down so I, silly me, assumed her tears had passed.

We weren't inside the first store for three whole minutes before the crying started up again. I wandered around, bouncing her on my hip thinking she would quit as long as I was moving.

Errrrrr! Wrong again, stupid.

I ended up outside pacing the storefront with a red-faced shrieking baby while Great Grandma and Roo finished gooing over all the Easter stuff.

So off to lunch we went. I insisted we eat outside just in case Turtle started acting up again. She cried a few times, but nothing too serious so I have to say that lunch was the only success of the whole day (besides the cute Carter's outfit I snagged for Roo).

She fell asleep at the restaurant and stayed that way until we reached our next stop. I had it in my head that we would run into the store, find Roo an Easter dress and out we would be again.

Turtle did good for about fifteen minutes, then she'd had enough and proceeded to tell the entire store that she was unhappy.

Again I found myself outside pacing the storefront.

And you know what, the poor child did not stop crying until we reached home and I settled her on my boob. Then (THEN!) she finally stopped crying and eventually dropped off to sleep in her swing.

And then (THEN!) I crashed.

Exhausted, both physically and mentally.

There's nothing like an unhappy child to make every last ounce of energy to drain out of your body.