Being a Mom is Hard.... Sometimes

Adjusting to life with a new baby is hard sometimes.


Sure, 99% of the time life is grand and you spend hours upon hours gazing at your new baby with wonder and awe. You are overjoyed at changing diapers and dealing with hot spit up rolling down your post-partum bumps.


But that 1%, which normally comes at midnight, isn't as pretty as all the baby books describe it.


At midnight and any hour past, you are a hormonal wreck that is running on little sleep and little patience.

You will find yourself giving your husband the evil eye and inventing ways in your head you can throw the TV controller at his head and blame it on the baby.


At midnight you are fresh to this mothering thing, no matter how many children you've birthed, and confused as to why your newborn is crying.


At least that's me.


Last night Turtle didn't go to bed until 1:30am, which would be totally cool with me, if I had gotten any sleep during the day (like she did).

This of course could be construed as my fault because as she slept peacefully through the day, I thought: Let's let her take the lead on this whole sleeping thing.

I let her sleep when she wanted and was rewarded with this long, long, LONG night.

It would've also been totally cool if she hadn't had been screaming her head off for a good two hours (total) between 9:00pm and 1:30am... but she was.

For no good reason (in my husband's and my own opinions), she cried... and cried... and cried.

Thankfully she did not wake up Roo, who had passed out at 8:00pm like the good three year old she is.

I felt completely out of control (of the situation). Everything I tried didn't please her.

The swaddling (that Roo loved and adored), she fought it.

The swing, she hated it.

Me, alternating with my husband, walking her in circles, nope.

The funny (I can only laugh now that it's morning) thing was that she would be screaming then all of a sudden close her eyes and drift off into sleep, only to fill up her diaper.

Now, I can't let her stew in her own poo!

So of course I got up and changed her... which in turn woke her up and started the process all over again.

I'm not sure what happened at 1:30am which made her pass out, I'm just grateful for whatever it was that allowed myself and my husband to finally fall asleep.

There was one good thing to come out of this whole fiasco, she slept for six hours straight.

It was glorious.

But I still woke up feeling like a truck ran me over.

So today I'm taking back the lead reins and making sure she's awake for a few hours at a time. I am not going to become a night owl and neither is she.

Wish me luck.