Roo has been my world for well over three years (including the 39 weeks with her in my belly). Everything I've done (okay, almost) has been about her and for her.
I wake up because of her (she can't fix her own cereal yet) and I drop dead exhausted at the end of the day because of her.
And now that there's another little baby coming into the picture, what will become of her?
What will happen when I can't drop what I'm doing to play horseys with Roo because I have to drop what I'm doing (mostly laundry) to take care of a squalling baby? Will she understand? If I can't get her a sammich fast enough because I have to nurse a baby instead? Will she throw a fit?
What will happen when the #1 in my entire world has no choice but to take a back seat?
Will she hate me?
Deep inside of me I'm not ready to give up the #1 spot to #2... Deep inside, I'm not sure I'm ready for #2 at all if it'll upset my #1.
Am I making sense?
I love Roo so damn much it hurts, it makes me want to cry... and now I have to find room in my life, in my heart, for another baby.
Will it be as easy as everyone says it will?
Will I be able to love them both equally? Will I be able to love them at the same time while one is nursing and while one is demanding Hot Wheelz?
Am I strong enough to do all of this and find time to sleep?
Surfing Sunday 01.25
11 hours ago