Everyone knows that when you bring home a newborn, your entire sleeping routine is disturbed drastically.
You know that every two hours you'll wake (often seconds before it starts) to a crying, squalling, baby full of rage due to either hunger or a poppy diaper.
But did you know that pregnancy plays a funny joke on your from about say, 6 months until you bring that child into the world?
Even before the precious bundle exits your womb you'll be plagued with tossing and turning, endless wake up calls (thanks to your bladder), back pains and weird cramps that only go away if you eat tons of bananas.
Oh, and just to tell you like it truly is, you will tend to snore or drool... even if this is something you've never done before in your life.
For weeks I've been rolling all over our bed trying to find a comfortable spot that allows some relief from the back pain and stretch out so I can manage to get air into my poor compressed lungs. After I finally get settled, I tend to have to pee. Or I wake up startled to find my arm, pillow, blanket, my husband puddled with drool. Or the husband wakes me up because I'm snoring in his ear.
I swear, before children I never drooled or snored.
I like to think that this is pregnancy's ha-ha funny joke on me. That this is pregnancy's way of preparing me for what life is like with a newborn. But note to pregnancy: I've done this before!
I know what life is like with a newborn! I've been through it! This is my second go around! I know about the endless nights, the diapers, the feedings, all of it.
So how about you give me a break for the next five weeks and let me sleep? Please?
Yeah, I didn't think so.
1 hour ago