Saturday, January 31, 2009

School is in Session

To enter my personalized Fruit Roll Ups giveaway, click here.

Turner Classic Movies (TCM) University Movie Session is now opened for enrollment! With categories ranging from Causes & Consequences of Divorce to Ichtyology, the TCM University offers a little something for everyone.

TCM University is celebrating the 31 Days of Oscar from February 1st to March 3rd, 2009. The 31 Days of Oscar festival showcases films that have received one or more Academy Awards from the 1920s to the 1990s.

I've registered for Architecture of Ancient Rome (February 3 from 12pm to 6pm), Fashion Photography (February 15 from 8pm to 2am) and Neurological Disorders and Diseases of the Brain (February 25 from 8pm to 4am).

If you're nice, you can sit next to me and copy my homework.

To view the entire 31 Days of Oscar TCM University class schedule, click here.

Friday, January 30, 2009

My First Giveaway!!

When I was a kid and I’d go grocery shopping with my Mom, I’d always get excited when we’d go down the snack aisle. I’d dart as fast as I could to the Fruit Roll Ups and snatch up a box before whirling around to her and begging, “Please?”

When MyBlogSpark contacted me about writing a review for personalized Fruit Roll Ups, I jumped at the opportunity. My mouth was already watering thinking about their strawberry flavor (it was always my favorite, with Sunberry Burst a close second).

What are personalized Fruit Rolls Ups you ask?

MyFruitRollsUps. Com is a super-duper unique way to personalize your very own Fruit Rolls Ups. With over 400 graphics to choose from, plus the option of uploading your own photos (yes, you can eat a fruit roll up with your baby’s face on it), you can turn a yummy fruit roll up treat into a masterpiece. Want to one-up the mommies at the playground, use MyFruitRollUps to order your child’s next birthday party invitation. Want to sweeten up your grouchy Valentine? Check out their Valentine’s selection where you can plaster hearts all over your fruity treat.

Priced at $29.99 (plus shipping and taxes) for 30 individually wrapped roll ups, personalized fruit rolls up will be a guaranteed hit with any kid (and adult!). For more information visit My Fruit Rolls Up (link back to website) and get crackin’ on your own creation.


Oh yeah, MyBlogSpark has generously offered one of my readers a free box of personalized fruit roll ups. Yes, you read that right: My first giveaway!

To enter to win, all you have to do is leave me a comment below about how flippin’ cool personalized Fruit Rolls Up are.

Want an extra entry? Follow me here.

An additional entry can be earned by posting an entry about this giveaway on your blog.

That's three chances to win!

This giveaway will end on 02/06/2009

This giveaway is open to US residents only.

Thanks to MyBlogSpark and MyFruitRollUps for this opportunity.

Thursday, January 29, 2009


The exertions of the past few days has left me lifeless.

Thus enabling my brain to come up with anything remotely exciting to post about.

I'm going to take the rest of the week off to recover and promise that by Monday I'll be back in full swing.

Thanks for understanding.


p.s. Scholastic is having its first Fave Mommy Blogger Contest. Go here and vote for your faves... and if you're feeling lovey, give a shout out to Not Your Typical Mommy!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Med Pass

I have a medical pass for my blog today.

Fear not, it was only an ovarian cyst. I'm home and recovering just nicely. :)

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Honest as (S)Crap

LaMom (one of my most favorite reads) was kind enough to bestow me with this:

I am very proud of this award. And as the conditions of this award state, I must tell you (honestly) 10 great things about me.

So here we go:

1- I honestly do wear those crazy socks out in public. My husband doesn't appreciate it when I do, but I do.
2- I still get pimples at the ripe ole age of 28 and it DRIVES me BANANAS!
3- I let my daughter watch TV... a lot. But she tends to ignore it most of the time in favor of cellphones and my laptop.
4- My husband still gives me butterflies. The most beautiful, tingling kind of butterflies that lead to naughty things.
5- Flying makes me throw up... as does trains, sitting in the back seat, roller coasters and cruise ships.
6- While most think I'm crazy to be living as I'm living, I love it... I whole heartedly love it.
7- I'm trying to talk my husband into buying me a cow.
8- I love that my daughter is as in love with my husband as I am. We both exclaim with joy when he walks through the door.
9- I could watch Jewel of the Nile (the movie) over and over again... in fact, I have.
10- My bedroom is a disaster... not that that's a big surprise, but it is.

The other condition of this blog is passing on the award and since I think all bloggers out there deserve it, I'm giving it to everyone. So please, snag the button and spill 10 of your secrets.

And it continues

My attempts at starting a new fashion trend.

In my defense, I was working in the garden while wearing this lovely get-up.

Monday, January 26, 2009

The Bachelor

So I finally get the chance to watch The Bachelor tonight. I've been listening on twitter about the excitement of this season's boy-wonder and I've been super curious.

I've watched many seasons of this show and always get sucked in. There's something about a reality show that just sucks the life out of me and renders me totally immobile for hours on end.

And let me tell you, Mr. SuZ hates this about me.

So I tune in (thanks to reruns of Gossip Girl and a tuckered out tike) and already have eyes rolling. I find myself screaming at the TV before too long. And what the hell are they thinking with those outfits?

And I love the teasers at the beginning of each commercial break, they're always the same:

The most romantic date, yet.
One woman goes home in tears.

Drama, drama, drama.

And me, I'm glued to the set eating it up.

I don't have a favorite yet, anyone want to share theirs?

Good God, What Is That?

Ever open a diaper and think, "How could so much poop come out of such a tiny person?"

Yeah, me too.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Not me, I'm a Lady.

Just be warned, I'm letting loose with the bad words today.

Rebecca asked on her blog if I cussed. She proclaimed to be a filthy mouth sailor and I've got a secret... I am too.

Except if I don't know you.

If I don't know you, not a foul word will pass my lips. If I don't know you, I'm going to fool you into thinking I'm a classy lady, all the while I'm probably cussing you out in my head. You being those asshole men who think they're hot shit. You, that bitchy saleslady who thinks I'm not good enough b/c I forgot to brush my hair (again), screw you you dog-faced wench.

I'm such a fan of dirty words I even drop the c-word, repeatedly (it turns my husband on).

Of course, this is not good behavior for a Mom of a 22 month old. Especially since that 22 month old is repeating what I say. Sometimes I can't hold my tongue around Roo. Sometimes I let the f bomb slip (like yesterday when I mixed three cups of flour instead of three teaspoons in my recipe).

When my angelically cute 22 month old said something that resembled that f bomb, I realized it was time to clean up my act. No more shits, bitches, whoremongers, or even craps.

I'm going to clean my mouth out with some soap.

Just around my daughter that is.

I'll leave the nasty words for where they belong, in the bedroom.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Baby It's Cold!

Baby It's Cold!, originally uploaded by NYTMBlog.

Last night was the coldest night on record in five years.

It was so damn cold that our heater couldn't hang with it and stopped working in the wee hours of the morning. It was so damn cold that ice covered everything this morning. It was so cold that my husband, who loves anything cold, bitched and moaned about how cold it was.

Yeah, that says 14 degrees.

Me, in 14 degree weather.

Karma is still taking revenge on me. Maybe I'm the bitch and not karma?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Suggestions, anyone?

Since karma is taking out its revenge on me and blessing us with FREEZING temperatures for the next few days, I figure it's the perfect time to hide our Florida butts inside. We've got soup in the crock-pot, tons of crafts to put together and Nick Jr. to watch.

What I don't have, is a book for Mommy.

Any suggestions on what to read?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Damn You. Blogger

I'm sure karma will get back at me for this one, but BLOGGER YOU SUCK!!

I've been trying to upload pictures from our beach trip yesterday for TWO DAYS!

Every attempt has been foiled and I'm pissed.

All of my files are JPEGs and are not huge at all.

What the F?

On another note, it's COLD outside.

Like, hide in the house all day cold. We walked out after nap-time to catch some sunshine and literally we're almost blown away. It's so windy and so chilly. Maybe this is karma for me teasing the Northerner's yesterday?

If so, karma is a bitch.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Life's a Beach

I love living in Florida.

Living in Florida means that while people up North are shivering away in the cold, cold weather. We can take off and go hunt sea shells at the beach.


Yeah, I though so. :)

Sunday, January 18, 2009

I'd Like to Thank the Academy

Ashley, over at This Mama Is Fre-exy, was kind enough to bestow upon me an award.

I am oh-so grateful for this.

The conditions of this award are that I write about five obsessions I have and I tag five of my favorite blogs.
So without further ado, my obsessions.
1- My daughter's tushy. I chase her around with a camera and get tushy shots all day long. Poor child will have a complex when she gets older.
2- Book. I love love love to read.
3- Running. I don't get to run as much as I love to, but god, do I love to get out there and pound the pavement.
4- Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Raisin Cookies. Dare me not to eat a whole batch, go on.
5- Picking up crayons.
And my five blogs I bestow this fabulous award on are:
All amazing blogs I'm sure you'll love just as much as I do.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Frugal is my Middle Name

Okay, so maybe frugal isn't my middle name... but still, sounds catchy.

So, one of our resolutions for the New Years was to budget better and actually save money. So far, we're not doing very well. Especially considering that we lost $60 yesterday (ECK!).

In my attempts to be frugal, I've been hunting down all the best coupon sites, free sample sites and blogs that tell you were all the free stuff is.

And since I did all this research, I thought why not share.


My newest and favorite site for money saving tips: Money Saving Mom. She gives you everything you need to save on a budget. The queen of coupons, who can save $90 on a grocery trip.

Coupon Mom


Wal Mart Free Sample Site

Scholastic Free Book Offer

Frugal Mommy (Mommy Savers)

Need great (free!!) ideas to entertain your nuggets? Check out:

Audible Kids (free audio downloads of great kids books)

Family Fun Magazine

I'll update this page as I find more goodies for you to enjoy.

Friday, January 16, 2009

The Joy of Being a Mommy

When you read the title of this post, make sure you say it out loud really sarcastically. I mean super sarcastic, just dripping off your lips. Because that's how I feel it.

Now, I love my nugget. You know, I know it, Mr. Me and everyone around me knows it. I truly love my daughter with every fiber in my body (yes, even at 1130pm when she's still keyed up and running circles around my bedroom).

What I don't love is the mess.

My Mom can attest for me, I'm not the cleanest person. I don't pick up all the time. I tend to leave dishes in the sink for a day or two and I don't mop the floors as much as I should. But when it comes to my bedroom, I have to have it clean. Not clean as in dust-free, spic and span clean. But moderately clean.

With Roo, there's no such thing.

At all.

My sweet little daughter loves nothing more than to dump all of her clothes out on the floor, all of the toys and my newest favorite (taught to her by none other than her Daddy) dumping the basket of toys upside down.

Sure, it's cute.

Maybe even adorable,

But when she follows me after I clean, only to repeat all these horrible offenses all over again, a little circuit in my brain wants to fizz it.

I swear, I clean up after her three, four times a day.

If I'm not picking up crayons, it's Hot Wheelz, or DVDs (which she delights in throwing all over the floor).

I've told myself repeatedly, even while I'm straightening the bedsheets (as she sits on them) that I don't need to be so neurotic about this. I've told myself that she's just a child and I'm being a tad bit nutty about this whole thing.

I've even gone as far to tell myself that I can deal with the mess.

Then, as I'm rushing around picking up washcloths, magazines and pillows, I catch a glimpse of her doodling on a piece of paper or watching me with a smile, and I melt.

I simply melt to a gooey puddle on the floor.

Then I realize why clean when I can spend the time cuddling.

Wouldn't you?

(Glasses courtesy of Mr. Potato Head. Thanks PH!)

22 Months

Dear Roo,

The other morning you awoke and sat straight up. You looked around the bed, your eyes searching for something. When you spotted your Daddy, you looked up at him and asked: “Daddy, you have my binky?”

You’re learning words and sentences at such a fast rate that I am stunned. Everyday new thing pop out of your mouth and I find myself amazed at how fast you are learning. I have to admit, last week I was questioning when you’d start speaking in sentences and as if you heard me, you started talking sentences!

You’re very active playing in the dirt at the barn, jumping up and down in the bed and dancing to the beat. Hot Wheelz are your new favorite toys. You like to play with them in bed while helping Daddy read his hot rod magazines. Most of the time, you’ll steal the magazine from Daddy and flip through the pages pointing out all the “hots” (hot rods).

You’ve taken an interest in older kids and whenever you see them, you immediately dump Daddy and me to play with them. I don’t blame you; Daddy and I aren’t as cool as the other kids.

I hope you continue this path of exploring that you’ve embarked on. I’m so proud of your independent nature and slightly grateful that I don’t have to chase after you every second of the day.

I love you,


Thursday, January 15, 2009

Taking a Sick Day

I think with everything that's going on in my life, weaning and sleep issues and a truck burning like toast, it's all caught up with me.

My throat is all scratchy and on fire, my neck feels like it's swollen to the size of a tree trunk and I'm exhausted (that's everyday, but today I am T.IR.E.D.).

So, I'm sure you'll understand if I crawl into bed and nap instead of posting about how kharma is a bitch.

Tomorrow, I promise.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Sleepless in Mommyville

For the past 13 nights, a battle has raged in our home.

The sleeping battle.

Me, exhausted and haggard, vs. a 21 month old, willful, determined toddler.

Guess who wins.

Last night I thought I'd try a new bedtime routine. Similar to what we had, but come 9:30pm, I shut all the lights off, all the TVs and had NO noise WHAT-SO-EVER.

I thought maybe Roo would get sleepy, roll around for a bit and doze off to a peaceful sleep. I even set the alarm for 8am, thinking she'd get up early.


She did the same exact thing she normally does. Giggles, laughs, rolls around, kicks the wall, etc. The lights and TV being totally out did NOTHING for this child.

She finally went to sleep at 11:00, like every day for the past 13 nights.

And that 8am wake-up call, I was so exhausted I snooze until 8:40am (so much for getting Roo up early).

The thing is, I can't take the 11:00pm bedtime. It makes me grumpy to have a child that stays up that late!! I miss my 10:00pm bedtime b/c then at least I got some time to hang out with my hubby, read, whatever. When Roo goes to bed at 11:00 (and sometimes even later!) I'm so tired I can barely roll over to take my glasses off!

Egh... I've always been a student of the theory that child will do what they're supposed to do when they're ready... should I just accept this? Adjust our schedules? Give in to the fact that my night owl child, who has healthy 2-3 hour naps everyday, wants to stay up so late?

I need a nap.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Keep It To Yourself, Please

I've have numerous people lift an eyebrow when they learn of how our family operates. They get a disgusted look on their face when they hear we drive an old Ford pick-up, or live with family and survive on one income.

They can't understand how I don't send my daughter to daycare or how I don't buy her the latest and greatest toys. They question every choice we make, including the sanity of myself and my husband.

It angers me, especially since they could be doing so much more with their time then worrying about my perfectly fine family. They waste their time talking behind our backs, making snide comments and covering us their bitterness by showing off their latest gadgets, new cars and pageant-perfect children.

And while I could careless about these people, sometimes their comments make their way to me and anger me to no ends.

Ever since I had my daughter, I've grown up and grown past this immature action. I've matured and my way of thinking is that everyone has their own life, does their own thing and I'm in no position to judge their choices in life. In simpler words: I let people be.

I accept everyone for who they are and don't judge.

Why is it so hard for other people to share this opinion? Why is it so important to be interested in my business? Who gives a flying 'ef if I let my child run around barefoot? Who cares if I drive a huge, gas-guzzling truck? Who cares if I'd rather stay home and make homemade clay with my child?

I just want people to look at me and say, hey she's got her own thing going on and I'm happy for her.

Is that seriously so much to ask?

Monday, January 12, 2009


I was going through some old pictures today and wanted to share... besides, I have nothing intelligent to say today... hope you don't mind if I share some pictures instead. :)

These are all scanned pictures and they are crappy and fuzzy, so just ignore that, okay?

This is us on a boat in the middle of the Atlantic, we are.... 22 here.

Driving dune-buggies somewhere in Mexico.

On the crappiest bus in Belize. I swear that thing was going to fall apart at any second.

This is me and Mr. Me at his criminal justice graduation.

Drinking beer in Cozumel.

This is at the Currituck Lighthouse in NC. Check out that creepy guy to the left.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Thank You

Thank you to everyone for their kind thoughts with regards to the demise of my truck.

Yes, that is a fire. Yes, that was my driveway and yes, we are all okay.


My husband was in the process of leaving for an appointment when the truck backfired and the rest, they say, is history.

Or a fire.

Complete with firemen, too much smoke and lots of melted plastic.

The poor truck has taken up residence in the back with hopes of being restored with a bad ass engine, huge axles and monstrous tires.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Taking the Cake

Today is in the running for one of the worst days of my life.

Why, you ask?

Let me show you.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Young and Dumb?

When I was younger, I was what you would call... a bitchy person. I was very opinionated and never hesitated to make my thoughts known. I treaded on toe's of those I loved, I hurt feelings, I was ruthless.

I felt that I was an adult, even though I was the furthest thing from it, and I could do whatever I wanted, say whatever came into my head.

I was rash, stupid and careless. I was known as the bitch who could shoot you down with one piercing look. My disapproving silence made others supremely uncomfortable. I could clear a room with my bad mood in seconds.

Looking back, I realize what a fucking idiot I was.

I realize now how my actions were mean and hurtful, not only to those around me, but to myself. I alienated a lot of people with my behavior.

Becoming an adult, a true adult, didn't happen until a I became older. It just happened one morning. There's not a specific date I can recall, or if it was a sunny day or a rainy one. I just remember gradually changing. I remember looking at my friends differently and taking them for who they were, not who I thought they should be. I looked at the world as a totally different unit then I did the week before. Life was something to be proud of, to be grateful for. Instead of looking for the bad in people, I started seeing that they were trying to be their best and I was happy to have them in my life. Instead of criticizing everyone around me, I started thinking that they were trying their best and I was okay with that. I didn't feel the need to push anyone or demoralize them for their actions.

I was just okay with everything.

And now I look at my care-free, laid-back attitude as a saving grace. If I was still the person I was when I was younger, I'd be alone and the dumbest person in the world.

I'm so thankful I realized it. I'm so thankful I awoke with a fresh take on life and it made me the person I am today.

So whatever it was, whoever you were... Thank you.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Just When You Think It's Getting Better

Excuse me while I have a pity party.

Just when I thought the whole weaning thing was getting better, I'm hit smack in the chest with (excuse me fellas, there's no other way to say it) engorged breasts!

It feels as horrible as it sounds.

I was so happy two days ago when I woke up and my boobs resembled something of normalcy. There was no pain, there was no emotional breakdowns, nada.

This is what I get for thinking that I was doing a great job.

Breasts that are on FIRE!

The slightest brush of fabric, the accidental kick (Roo tends to kick me while she sleeps), a grope from the hubby... it's all painful.

The only thing that I can imagine would've caused this (besides my cockiness) was Roo's tears. Yesterday she was in a bad mood because her eye-teeth are coming in and that had her in a frustrated mood.

Leaving Mommy in a frustrated mood.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

This is Me, Exhausted.

Ever since our monumental decision to stop nursing was put into effect, I've been exhausted.

Utterly, fall on your face, need numerous sodas, exhausted.

Why, you ask?

Well, our once well coordinated bedtime routine (which always involved nursing) is all screwed up leaving me with a wound-up toddler that doesn't go to sleep until 11:30 or 12:00!!

Of course, a later (much later) bedtime often results in sleeping in. This screws up nap time. Sometimes sleeping in late results in no nap, or Roo thinking it's nap time at 7:00pm and waking up at 9:00, ready to play.

It's exhausting just writing it out!

I understand that I screwed with her 21 month tradition, but I thought since she handled the elimination of nap time nursing, she'd recover from this just as nicely.


Any hints, suggestions, rubber mallets (Just kidding)?

This Mama needs her sleep.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Keeping the Resolution

I love consignment shops... especially when you get all of this for oh-so-little.

The Joy of a child

Today we took Roo to PetsMart to pick out some new fish. The one we have looked lonely so we thought we'd get him some friend to swim around with.

As soon as we passed through the automatic doors, I set Roo down and off she went.

She ran as fast as her chubby little legs would move her to the wall of fish tanks. All while screeching: Fishey! Fishey!

She touched each and everyone of the tanks along the bottom saying, "Fishey!" I trailed along, my heart bursting at how innocence is such a beautiful thing. She could have stayed there for hours talking to the fish (when I say talking I mean that cute, sweet babbling that toddlers do). And I could have sat there for hours, just watching her.

I hate that one day she will lose this innocence... I hate that one day when I take her to PetsMart, she'll pass by the fish without concern. She'll probably be drawn to a bird, or some other revolting creature that I'll have to pick up after.

In the end, we purchased two fisheys and brought them home to join the lonely one.

Saturday, January 3, 2009


It hit me this morning that in 2009, I'll be turning 29.


That's one year away from 30.

That's one year from a nervous (and mental) breakdown.

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating.

But it got me thinking about the goals I should set for myself this year. Not resolutions, because that word just begs for failure, but goals. Goals I can set for myself that are realistic, challenging and rewarding (hopefully financially rewarding as well as mentally).

1- Make my blog successful. When I say successful, I mean make my posts worth reading, bring readers back and offer them some smart ass comments on bad drivers, witty remarks about baby butts and generally make everyone smile.

2- Publish at least 4 articles in magazines and countless on my favorite mom websites.

3- Finish my novel (??). This means take one of the hundred stories I've started recently and stick with it. Typically, I start a story and crank out over 20K words before being hit with a totally different (and totally different genre) storyline and I run with that one.

4- Take my photography to the next level. I've just started shooting medium format again and want to build an amazing portfolio. Anyone want to model for me?

5- Buy property and MOVE OUT OF MY INLAWS!

6- Be happy... so happy that I make others sick (and pea-green with envy).


There you have it, my goals for 2009. A few days late, but better late than never.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Emotional Train-Wreck

I knew that weaning my daughter would cause some turmoil within me. I knew that I would feel a loss and would mourn breastfeeding.

I just didn't know weaning Roo would effect me like this.

I feel utterly depressed.

I feel like I'm going to burst into tears at any second.

It's not a feeling I can easily explain.

I just feel hollow and my breasts are full.

I could use a hug from my Mother right now.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Today is the Day

Today is the day that I totally wean Roo from the boob.

If I don't do it now, I'll never do it.

She has no clue about this decision, of course. Poor child will probably throw the biggest fit... or will it be me?

We've gone about our business with one feeding for the last couple of weeks and to be honest, she never asks for the boob. I just end her day with it and she's happy about it.

Last night I figured that today should be the day, why not?

I've put the boppy pillow up and thrown out the nursing bras.

2009 is the year of no nursing in this household.