Saturday, April 18, 2009

I Apologize

I don't know if you've noticed lately, but I've been off the mark with a lot of things. My blog is suffering from a serious case of writer's block and I apologize for it.

The snarkiness that has made my blog what it is has taken a vacation.

The wit and humor that rules my world has taken a back seat to my grief.

As much as I try to cover it up, I haven't recovered from my Grandfather's death.

As much as I try to ignore his empty chair in the room, I can't.

And I don't know what to do.

I've got assignments to write, a story I'm sadly behind on, a blog that is suffering... but I can't get it together. I sit down everyday to write and nothing comes to mind. Sure, I've written about this only to delete it after a few paragraphs. I've tried to work around it and complain about some other mundane task.

The sad thing is, it's not only my blog that's suffering. It's everything. Take the smallest problem and I can whip it out of control leaving me snarling at people. Sure, I have my moments where I can forget about everything and truly enjoy the moment but as soon as I sit down to write about it, it slips away and leaves me numb.

And un-imaginative.

So I apologize if my blog is sucking lately... this too will pass, I just need some time to adjust to life without my Grandfather and find the creative spark that made this blog shine.


Leslie said...

My mom passed away 2 years ago, and I cry every day still! Call Hospice and they can direct you to grief counseling! You are grieving... and you need to talk to someone who can help you work through the stages.. really.
It is ok to grieve in your own way and in your own time!
There is NO right or wrong way.. But you don't want to sink into a depression you can't get out of.
Depression is not the same as grieving.
I am grieving deeply still for my mom.. as you are for your grandpa.... but you need to be able to talk with someone!!!!
Hugs to you!!!!

Yaya said...

Oh Suz, I'm sorry. It sounds like you are in a funk or slight depressive phase. Those are not fun. Just be true to yourself and focus on you right now until things mellow out. This too shall pass.

Rebecca said...

Suz, I am so sorry. I am sending you hugs via blog world.

Erika said...

You take all the time you need! It's been 10 years since my Pop-pop passed and I still expect to see him when I pull into my grandmother's house.

Ashley said...

Don't apologize, never apologize for grieving. It's natural and I think all of us that follow your blog understand that this is difficult for you.