Twice today my husband was attacked (verbally) for the way we are living our lives.
Twice he was told he needed to get his priorities in line. Twice he was told he needs to be a man and take care of his family.
Twice I've gotten so angry that I'm too the point of bursting. Twice I've been so mad that I'm at the point of screaming and yelling.
I know we're not living the ideal existence. I know that we're not high on the hog and I know that I don't want to live with my in-laws forever. I know that this situation is temporary but I also know that the job opportunities in my city are next to none. I also know that if we up and moved out we'd be back in the hole so fast it would break our necks.
I know what is good for my family. Not them.
The biggest thing that kills me is that one of these people is a dear friend that my husband has known for years. It kills me that he feels he knows what's best for my family. It kills me that I love this friend so dearly and he acts this way.
All of my friends know that I believe the only two people who know what is right for their families is the two people involved in the relationship. I would never assume to tell my friends what they need to do because I am not sleeping in between them at night, I am not in their shoes and I have no right.
I can ignore the first person who attacked my husband today because she is not important to me. But this second one is... and he literally has broken my heart.
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Pinwheelin’
32 minutes ago
8 comments:
Some people really over step thier boundaries...I hate that! My MIL likes to tell me how to raise the boys, it drives me crazy.
Sorry that this is happening to you.
My daughter is pretty sensitive to what other people say (have NO idea where she got that from)... so we say "just because someone says something doesn't make it true". And it also doesn't make it your problem, except that if it is someone you care about, it becomes your problem and that sucks.
Maybe it is an opportunity for some open dialogue. Maybe it isn't.
Sorry again.
People take "care" of other people's problems because the problems at their own house aren't solvable. Treasure the fact that you and your husband are a united front in this life and do your best not to absorb the rotten, sad energy coming from those two people. Go cuddle up with your husband and daughter and put that heart back together.
Love,
Trisha
(((Hugs)))
You live for you, not for them.
Wouldn't it be nice if people would focus on fixing their own problems instead of trying to fix yours. As long as YOU know you are doing what's best for your family... everyone else can suck it! ;)
I'm sorry SuZ, I totally agree with you on not interjecting into another relationship when you aren't there yourself. It's no one's place to judge you and how you and YOUR family decide to live.
Big hugs!
I know how you feel, when my hubby and I were just engaged we lived with my parents, to save money for our wedding but mostly to help them out. They were 75 and 72 at the time and my dad had lost his leg. Being the youngest of 10 kids I was the only one who was in the area that was not married and able to help them. It was a great relationship and since my dad died 6 months after we got married we both cherish the time together. BUT there were others in my family that thought we were taking advantage of them and "using" them. My husband took more offense to this since he did not want it to look like we were "leching" off them. The hardest part was that the comments came from other in-laws that had "used" mom and dad in other ways like free full time babysitters and Dad's never ending knowledge....
The best thing to do is know that your in-laws will tell you when it time to go, they love you and your family and until they are the ones that are making the comments thank your stars that you have them. You will know when the time to go is, until them take care and remember the words that you wrote,"I know what is good for my family"
Sorry!
That sucks. I'm with you, I think people need to just be supportive and understanding and realize they don't know everything.
We're in a similar situation. I'm living with my parents, me and my son, while my husband is in NC and can't find a job here in PA. It's a difficult situation and it's only harder when people try to give "advice" that really isn't helpful at all.
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