When I was younger, I was what you would call... a bitchy person. I was very opinionated and never hesitated to make my thoughts known. I treaded on toe's of those I loved, I hurt feelings, I was ruthless.
I felt that I was an adult, even though I was the furthest thing from it, and I could do whatever I wanted, say whatever came into my head.
I was rash, stupid and careless. I was known as the bitch who could shoot you down with one piercing look. My disapproving silence made others supremely uncomfortable. I could clear a room with my bad mood in seconds.
Looking back, I realize what a fucking idiot I was.
I realize now how my actions were mean and hurtful, not only to those around me, but to myself. I alienated a lot of people with my behavior.
Becoming an adult, a true adult, didn't happen until a I became older. It just happened one morning. There's not a specific date I can recall, or if it was a sunny day or a rainy one. I just remember gradually changing. I remember looking at my friends differently and taking them for who they were, not who I thought they should be. I looked at the world as a totally different unit then I did the week before. Life was something to be proud of, to be grateful for. Instead of looking for the bad in people, I started seeing that they were trying to be their best and I was happy to have them in my life. Instead of criticizing everyone around me, I started thinking that they were trying their best and I was okay with that. I didn't feel the need to push anyone or demoralize them for their actions.
I was just okay with everything.
And now I look at my care-free, laid-back attitude as a saving grace. If I was still the person I was when I was younger, I'd be alone and the dumbest person in the world.
I'm so thankful I realized it. I'm so thankful I awoke with a fresh take on life and it made me the person I am today.
So whatever it was, whoever you were... Thank you.
Making It Work
1 hour ago