Friday, October 31, 2008

A New Find

I found this great website, the Imperfect Parent and I had to share it with you.

Not only does it have great articles on everything you could ever want to learn about. It hosts one of my favorite, favorite bloggers Motherhood Uncensored, known on the Imperfect Parent as Mominatrix.

Check it out.

Me: Then & Now

(Then)Life Before Baby:

(After) Life After Baby:

Thursday, October 30, 2008


We have two uber-important rules in our house.

1- Keep the back door locked at all times.
2- Put the toilet lid down.

These simple, but important, rules are written in stone. Hell, they are even written down in the above-said places. These rules are put in place for the safety of Miss Roo.

The back door is simple, b/c we don't want her wandering into the backyard where our pool is. The toilet lid is another simple one. We do not want her to get curious and fall in.

As you know, my husband's brother lives with us. When he moved in, we set the rules for him. He agreed to these rules and promised to pass them on to his friends, who are constantly in and out of the house.

Lately, the toilet lid is always up... ALWAYS (just picture me growling in frustration right now). So I put a sign up that states: PLEASE put the toilet lid down. I have a child that could fall in and we don't want that.

Word for word, that's exactly what the sign says. It's conveniently placed right above the toilet so any fool that walks in the bathroom can read it.

Apparently, my brother-in-laws friends can't read... and he is just a effin' idiot.

So I complain and then I complain to my husband who speaks to his brother.

His brother goes off on him, yelling and arguing with him that my daughter's head is too big to fit through the toilet... and (god forbid) if her noggin fits that her shoulder would stop her from falling in.

I'm going to pause here and let those words sink in.



Oh, I get it. Her big fat head will prevent her from drowning in the toilet and sheesh, if her head doesn't stop her, her footballer shoulders will.

You freaking idiot!

I literally could smack him. I literally could pounce on him and pound the crap on him for saying that. I didn't know I was related to such cavemen!

My brother-in-law is just lazy... too lazy to help me out and put the toilet lid down.

Can you understand my frustration?

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Back in the Day

I found this image and it brings back this rush of memories for me.

I delivered via c-section and after they gave me once quick glimpse of her, they whisked her away to the NICU. I impatiently waiting in recovery for them to bring her to me, they didn't. I impatiently waited four hours for a room so we could finally be together.

Finally they took me to the NICU so I could glimpse at the perfection my husband and I created. I saw her laying there and demanded they get me a room NOW (!!) b/c I needed, desperately, to hold her.

About thirty minutes later and a painful transfer from a gurney to a bed my husband wheeled her in and handed her to me.


Ever since that moment, I've been hooked.

It's Official

I'm a hoe!


And my pimp is Erika, check out the amazing things she said about me.

I love her.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Just Ignore Me, Please.

Ever since my daughter has been born people have been contradicting everything I say. If I say I'm not spoiling my daughter, they say I am. If I say her hair is thick, they say it's thin. If I say she's not chunky, they disagree with me and point to the rolls in her thighs.

It's an endless cycle that does nothing more than piss me off. Don't you think that the one person that knows her own child best is her mother? Don't you think that the one person who knows what is best for her own child is her mother?

I understand some mothers feel the need to push their thoughts and advice on others. I know some mothers have good intentions and hope their words of wisdom will ease some suffering or sleepless night.

But the others are just attempting (and successfully) pissing me off. The others want nothing more than to brag or put you down in order to make them feel superior.

I know what vegetables are best for her. I know her sleeping routine best. I know what pisses her off, calms her down and just what spot to tickle to make her laugh.

Not you.

This mother does not need your unsolicited advice or suggestions. This mother does not have any desire to compete with you or your star-child. This mother does not care if said star-child can speak eight different languages. This mother is happy with her child just as she is and everything about her daughter makes her blissfully happy.

So please, if you see us walking down the street and you're tempted to comment on how crooked my daughter's pigtails are or that the shoes she is wearing aren't conducive to proper foot growth, please don't. Or that my roots are showing or that I have snot on my clothes, keep it to yourself.

I honestly could care less.

Dirty Confessions

I'm pretty sure the Mommy books say not to do this.

I'm damn positive there's a Moms group someone readying the pitch-forks for me.

I'm hiding inside on one of the most beautiful days in existence.

Wait, it gets worse from there.

I'm hiding inside on a beautiful day and my daughter is glued to the TV watching cartoons.

I'm sure I should duck right about now, I know someone, somewhere is throwing darts at my head for being a bad Mommy.

I'm just sooooooooooooo tired right now and Roo is sooooooooooooo happy watching Winnie the Pooh.

If it helps matters I have the window open and we can peek outside and see (and breath) the fresh air. That has to count for something, right?

Friday, October 24, 2008

It's all about the Puppy Love

The weekly email from Parents Bloggers Network showed up in my inbox asking me about my pets, I got all weepy thinking about my dog Geingy Khan.

Living on a farm brings lots of animals, lots. At our last tally, we have over 50 horses, 6 dogs, 3 turkeys, 2 pigs (we use to have more, but 5 went to the house to feed our guests at the Halloween party on Saturday), 1 white egret and a trillion cats.

But Mr. Geingy Khan, also known as Crack-a-lack Khan, Banana-Head, Mr. Stinky and so on, is my boy. My first, very own dog. My husband picked him out from a litter nine years ago this past August and ever since he peed on my knee at the tender age of two days old, he had my heart.

We raised him from that day on, since his own mama abandoned him for a life of hunting, and it has been both blissful and frustrating. Raising a puppy is hard work. There's potty training, house training, manner training to name a few. Of course, you can't forget the grooming and feeding of a large breed dog.

And you will never forget the things he chewed apart as a puppy (including Christmas ornaments, Styrofoam plates, magazines and even part of a wall). Or the whining he did on a two-month road trip. Then you have the sweet moments... the comfort he provided while the tears fell when the hubby was away at boot camp. The snuggles on (rare) cold mornings, the licks after a long day at work, Geingy Khan has been there for it all.

While I may complain about his howling or the amount of food it takes to keep him happy, he's my baby boy. The one constant in my life, guaranteed to always love me and lick my hand.

I give you, the Khan Man.

This post was written for the Parents Bloggers Network as part of a sweepstakes sponsored by the Burger King Corporation.

Keep Up With It Slowpoke!

The other day I was chatting with a buddy when I asked her what her four year old was going to be for Halloween.

"Sharpay" she answered.

On my end of the phone, it got really quiet as I was questioning my friend's sanity. I was thinking Why in the world would you dress your daughter as a wrinkly old dog?

Me, being me, and not wanting to admit to such thoughts continued our conversation with these wanderings in the back of my mind. I couldn't get over her gorgeous blonde daughter dressed as a drooling mutt of a dog.

When she mentioned "Sharpay" again and brought up High School Musical, I snorted back laughter at my own dumbness. I was mentally slapping myself in the forehead, going "D'Oh!"

Apparently, "Sharpay" is a girl, not some wrinkly, squishy faced dog.

Apparently, I'm not up-to-date on my Disney musicals and not a part of the Cool Mom crowd.

Maybe in a few years....

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Cover Your Ears Kids

Cover your ears kids, I'm about to say a bad word: HOLY SHIT!!

And I'll say it again b/c I am soooo flippin' excited: HOLY SHIT!!!

Today I was contacted by the editor of the fabulous magazine Playground (!!). Seems they like my blog and want to publish my post Dear Boobs for their December issue!

Please excuse me while I go do the happy dance.


Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Dear Laptop

Dear Laptop,

The day I got you as a gift was wonderful. My father picked you out just for me as a birthday gift and I felt fantastically spoiled when I opened you up. Good times have been shared between you and me. We've written stories, edited countless pictures, even cruised a porn site or two. You've been a constant companion in this household, even gone on the road with us and served as our only source of entertainment while in the wilds of North Carolina for two months. We've had each others back for years. Now, sadly, our relationship isn't what it use to be. Lately you've been slacking. You're slow and sluggish and I'm impatient. You refuse to connect to the internet and I need to update my blog. You're cold to me too, always freezing up when I need you the most.

I'm at my wits-end, threatening (daily) to toss you out the window or worse, making you the newest toy for my toddler. It's time for you to re-evaluate this relationship and decide if it is something you want to work out or walk out of. It's your choice... if you can't hack it, I know an Apple that will.


Sunday, October 19, 2008

Self Esteem-N on Sunday

One of my new favorite blogs Pennies in my Pocket is hosting a Self Esteem Saturday or Sunday event and I thought I'd participate!

Here is the info (taken directly from her blog): Assignment to you fabulous ladies: So today, turn the TV off from all those 'Hollywood magazine' type shows, put down that magazine that's harping on your out-of-date clothing and tell me something that has given you a higher self-esteem. That's right. Brag about yourself or share something that someone said nice about you or whatever makes you feel better about yourself. Take a break from pulling yourself down when you look at the mirror first thing in the morning. Nobody should look in the mirror first thing in the morning anyway.
Question of the Day What has boosted your self-esteem?
What really has boosted my self-esteem is my ability to run. Getting out on the pavement and going for a nice long jog helps me physically and mentally. When I'm out running, everything just melts away and I can see clearly. I'm not clouded by anything and it gives me the confidence to believe in myself.

Blog + Baking = Bad

The other day I participated in the Secret is in the Sauce's blogathon and found the links to over 300 kick ass blogs. So the other day while Roo was napping away, I whipped up some peanut butter cookies and sat down to read while they baked.

Yeah, bad idea.

Not the blogging and baking aren't great separately, they are. But when you mix them together you get disaster.


Friday, October 17, 2008

It's all about the Man Cave

When Bill Me Later and Parents Bloggers Network sent out an email asking to show what your spouse hangs on to for dear life, I almost fell out of my chair laughing. Did they have my darling spouse in mind when they thought of this?

Because my hubby, is a pack rat. There is nothing in this world that he has not gotten his hands on and stashed somewhere on our 24 acres. He has a habit of collecting everything from vintage cameras to tractor tires. We've got a Bronco from 1978 in the back, an airboat hull hidden in the weeds, a collection of old filing cabinets somewhere in a pasture, and three (yes three) Ford 302 V8 engines in a shed. And this is just the tip of the iceburg. This list doesn't include the antiques he collects or the motorcycle frames he's got stacked out in another shed behind the house.

But this is the pride and joy of his "collection"

A 1927 Model T coupe cab. He had it shipped down from Minnesota in March and he has it in his "man cave" (a barn surrounded by hedges of grass) awaiting restoration.

With a man that collects soooo much stuff, I'm lucky he doesn't collect wives as well, huh? :)

Just Another Reason Why

Here's just another example of why I'm not your typical Mommy.

Our new "family car"

Oh yeah, not typical at all, huh?

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Check Her Out

Check her out... seriously! Stop everything you are doing and go here and visit one of my bestest buds.



Thank you!


Yesterday I moved my computer to a desk by the window. For the past two days every time I've sat here I get totally sidetracked and end up staring out the window at the clouds passing by... and then I get really, really sleepy. Wonder why that is....

I moved my computer b/c normally I'm in the same room as Roo and if she's taking a nap and I'm in there (even being as quiet as a mouse) she never sleeps well. So here I am... falling asleep and attempting an update in my drowsiness.

Good luck to you.

Last month I finally called my Mom and talked to her about all the crap that had been going on between us. It was a frustrating conversation with no apology from her and it ended with both of us disagreeing to disagree. And from then on, things have gotten back on track with us (but not between her and my husband). Today I get an email from my sister-in-law about problems she's having with my Mom and then I get an email from my Mom about her side of the story. I feel torn, simply b/c I love my Mom and I love my SIL. I can totally understand what my SIL is going through b/c I just went through it.

I hate all of this and just wish my family were normal. I wish my family could all get along and no one was negative about the others and everyone was happy-go-lucky.

But I live in reality and this is not possible. My family is not normal.

Then you have me... the black sheep who isn't a part of either group.

What a mess, huh?

It's enough to make you bang your head into a wall...

More randomness is that my daughter insists on wearing her bath suit to nap today... it's quite funny and cute. My husband is building a swamp buggy in the barn and there's a huge white crane (egret?) patrolling our pool looking for frogs to eat.


And this, simply b/c I think it's funny.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

19 Months of Love

Dear Roo,

Today you turn 19 months old and once again, I'm in shock at how fast the time goes by. When I was pregnant with you people warned me that it all would just fly by. I didn't quite believe them then, but now I do. It seems like just yesterday I was writing you a letter about turning six months old and drooling on toys. And while the days do fly by in a blur, it's a blissful blur. One captured with memories that I will always adore.

You're working really hard on your vocabulary lately. Your two-word phrases are more pronounced and you've even added the word "No" to your list of useful words. I haven't had the chance for you to spit out the word at me, but I've heard you telling the dog, "No Leo" endless times. You are also remembering things very well. If I ask you to find your tag blanket, you turn in circles searching the room for it until you find it. When you find it and bring it to me, your smile is one of pride... and so is mine.

The kisses you once were so guarded about are now freely given, as long as we ask nicely. Most of the time I end up kisses your teeth, but I don't mind. I'll take any kiss you give out. You also like to kiss the dogs, which I'm not too crazy about, but hey, what can you do? Demand you stop loving them? I doubt that will ever happen.

You still are very shy around strangers and that's okay with me and Daddy. Men still scare you causing you to shrink back or hide in Daddy's shoulder. He is hoping this trait will continue until you're thirty... Here's to hoping, huh?

Grandma June bought you your very own slide for the front yard. You haven't exactly mastered the whole up the steps, down the slide thing. But you can climb to the very top and stand at the head of the slide. Sometimes I wonder what you're thinking about while you're standing there gazing at your surroundings. Maybe you're just taking a moment to look down on the little people, down at the servants (also known as Mom and Dad)?

You've created this fascination for rocks, especially the gravel ones at the end of the driveway. You'll totter on down and pick up a whole handful of them and walk to the back of the truck and drop each one down through the hitch hole. Either that or throw them at people (and cats) passing by.

My little stinker, you.

I couldn't be prouder of you. You've grown into such a beautiful little girl who never fails to amaze me. Your smiles light up the worst of moments and your laughter can cure anything. I love you so much, never forget that... ever.


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The SITSa Hood

It's the First Annual SITS blogathon!!

And I'm proud to be a part of it. SITS (Also known as the Secret is in the Sauce), is an online community for bloggers to share their blogs, participate in contests, featured blogs and it's an amazing place to meet wonderful people!

SITS has done wonders for my blog, bringing lots of traffic and people that actually love to comment. Woo hoo!! :)

Some of the great blogs I've found through SITS are:
Pink Ink
Parenting Pink
Paper Girl Productions
The Scattered Mind of a Tattooed Minivan Mom
Too Bee or Not Too Bee

So go on, click away and comment away.


Monday, October 13, 2008


When my daughter was born, I made the decision to breastfeed her for at least six months. I had done my research and learned that six months of nursing was healthy for a baby.

When we hit six months without a single boob issue, I said I'd attempt to make it a year. More research showed that a child benefits greatly from a year of breastmilk.

As one year approached, I started preparing myself mentally for the separation. I checked books out of the library. I read every article google found. I bought sippy cups and a new non-nursing bra.

We were doing well at one point. We had cut out certain feedings. Roo seemed not to mind whole milk in a cup. Things were going smoothly. Then Roo got a cold and to comfort her, I increased her nursings. Then we moved and I fed her through that. Then she hit a growth spurt and everytime she spotted her boppy pillow she went nuts.

The next thing we knew, she was 18 months old and still attached to the boobs as the day she was born.

I know I'm the odd Mommy out in my group. Everyone with children Roo's age stopped breastfeeing months ago and occasionally lifts an eyebrow when they hear I'm still nursing my daughter. Friends without children look horrified (not all, but some) and I do catch my husband gazing longingly at my chest.

But when Roo knows it's time for a feeding, she hunts down the boppy, thrusts it in my lap and does a happy dance that resembled something a Backyardigan does. She giggles like she just hit the lottery, how can I deny her?

If this one simple thing makes her so happy, why not? How can I ever resist?

And I don't... and who knows if I ever will? I very well could be a freak for many years to come... When she's ready to stop, that will be the day I am ready.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

One After The Other

This afternoon is turning into a doozy of an afternoon.

It just seems like one thing after another is going wrong. For starters, I dropped my filled-to-the-brim, just bought, Big Gulp on the ground. My daughter is teething so her father's "no" turned into a onslaught of tears so fierce that I was curious if she'd ever stop. My husband's bad mood about lack of funds. Roo's endless demands to nurse.

Everything is just provoking a bad mood. The puppy, the in-laws, the ant bite... everything!

On top of it all, the cherry on top, is that Roo has started misbehaving with the dogs. She's pulling ones tail while poking the puppy in the face. I'm so nervous that she's going to get bitten by one of them. I've told her no, I've swatted her tush, I've told her Dad to tell her no... nothing there works.

What is a Mom to do?

Run screaming from the house all the while pulling my hair out?

Tempting, huh?

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Brag. Brag. Brag.

Luck for me, my husband is a photographer... Scratch that, he's an amazing photographer. And since I'm in a posting kinda mood, I wanted to share some of my photos he's done for me.
What do you think?

Oh, I wish.

One of my goals in life is to become an amazing baker. I figure since I love (love love love) to eat sweet, yummy treats why not be a kick ass baker and satisfy my cravings whenever I want! It's also my dream to open a bookstore/bakery/photo gallery too).

So tonight I found a shortbread cookie recipe and decided to give it a go. I found my recipe in my Betty Crocker red cookbook and got to mixing. I busted out my aunt's fancy-dancy Kitchen Aid mixer figuring this would help my kick-ass'ness in the kitchen.

You'd think with such a fancy-dancy piece of equipment I couldn't go wrong.


The cookies fall apart in your mouth... literally.

They crumble into pieces when you take a bite.

*rolls eyes*

I cursed up a storm and threw the cookbook across the room... Luckily for the new puppy, she's quick.

I think my problem was with the butter... the recipe calls for 2 cups of flour, 1/4 cup of sugar and 12 tablespoons of butter. The dough wasn't as smooth as cookie dough should have been and that should have been a clear indicator... but me, being me, didn't give it as much thought as I should have.

I guess that bakery is going to have to wait until I learn to bake, huh?



Okay, seriously, what gives with my daughter's plastic clog shoes (not Crocs, imitation Crocs... I refuse to spend $30 for a pair of plastic shoes for her)? They make her feet STINK! And when I say stink, I mean old man crusty feet smelling stinky. Not fresh baby toes stink.

Seriously, should a 18 month old baby have such stinky feet?

My guess is it's those nasty shoes of hers. She insists on wearing them alllllllll day, she even has them on right now and we're in the house, on my bed! Every time I take them off of her, she hunts them down and puts them back on. They usually are on the incorrect foot, but she tries.

I've washed them a bazillion times too. You would think that plastic shoes with holes in them would ventilate and the stinky toes problem wouldn't exist, right?


I'm so baffled about this. Maybe once the cool weather hits I can hide them and she can stink to her cowgirl boots that don't cause this problem... maybe?

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Bragging Rights

I proudly must brag that I am a part of the blog listings. :)

MomDot is a mom blog listing site that is run by mommy bloggers: Trisha, Alicia, and Bridgette. They run contests weekly, reviews on awesome (and not so awesome) products for family and kids, and talk about their lives. But more importantly, they feature bloggers and mom boutiques to give them an avenue to get thier name out there, also assisting in google links! You can head out and list your blog for free and talk to them about doing an interview about you. Head on over and see what MomDot is about!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Family Drama

My husband and I were discussing the upcoming holiday season, trying to figure out where we'd go, which family to celebrate with, all that fun stuff. My Dad is getting ready to go through radiation treatment for cancer so I really want nothing more than to visit my parents for Christmas (especially b/c he has to stay put in SC for the entire treatment). The only problem with seeing my family on Christmas is my sister.

My sister and I had a huge fight three months ago and haven't spoken since. No big deal, really... but if I do Christmas with my family, she'll be there and it will become a big problem. Especially since I have a problem holding my tongue.

My solution was to go have Christmas with them, and my brother who I adore, a week earlier. That way we can come home, have Christmas in Florida and do whatever we want (My husband's family isn't that big into family gatherings on holidays). That way I see my family and avoid drama.

Another big problem is that my parents don't really know the extent of the fight between my sister and I. They know we fought and my Dad kindly referred to it as a "pissing contest" which is soooo is not. They only heard her side of the story and part of me wants to lay it all out for them, but the other part of me is saying my Dad has enough to deal with.

What's a girl to do?

My husband suggested we skip all family gatherings and have our own family gathering, just the three of us. Such a help he is. :)

Monday, October 6, 2008


I had a hankering for peanut butter cookies today and as luck would have it, I found a super-duper simple recipe in my new Parents magazine.
So I set out to make them while Roo napped. The recipe called for 1 cup of peanut butter, 1 cup of sugar and 1 egg. I mixed the ingredients and baked them at 375 degrees for 15 minutes.
And the end results were YUMMY!

Nothing makes a bad day better than peanut butter, huh?

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Date Night

As we pulled out of the driveway, a heart-wrenching fervor broke out and tears filled my eyes. I turned to look at my husband and told him in a whisper, "I don't think I can do this."

Friday night we did something we hadn't done in 18 1/2 months, we went on a date. Alone, without our daughter. We left her in the very capable hands of her godmother so there were no worries. Just the worries of a mother who is very attached to her girl and feels lost without her.

At first my husband and I were short-tempered towards one another and a bit confused about how to function without our team-mate. During dinner, we couldn't help but notice the other kids at the restaurant and we felt sad. We nursed our wounds with stories of how cute Roo was and admitted how much we felt like a ship lost at sea without our navigator.

It was very tempting to head straight home after dinner (which we ate faster than we've ever eaten dinner before). But I was determined, determined to prove I could do this. So we wandered around aimlessly. We walked around the park we went to on our first date over 10 years ago. We raced each other on go-carts and ended up at the art center where we got married.

Iadmit, it was a hard night for me, but I enjoyed spending time with my husband. I enjoyed reconnecting with him. It was fun remembering who we use to be, and who we are now.

But I have to admit, as soon as we could, we rushed home to our daughter. :)

Friday, October 3, 2008

Moments Like This

Last night, after a long day of fun, Roo and I had we lounging around the bedroom, just she and I. She was fresh from the bath, still naked as the day she was born and smelling sweet. After chasing her around and covering her with kisses, she and I both collapsed (as best we could) in her beanbag to watch cartoons.

It's during these moments when she's still enough for me to snuggle as close as I want. This is the opportunity for me to stick my nose in her hair and inhale the scent of her. Right then and there, I can close my eyes, feel her smooth baby skin, and wish it would always be like this. All this simply perfection rolled into this beautiful little girl and this moment.

Of course, as soon as Daddy walks through the door, or the new puppy charges at the baby gate, that Mommy and cartoons are forgotten and she's off and running again.

But I have that sweet memory just for myself, one I didn't and could never take a picture of. That memory will forever be burnt into my brain as one of the best moments of my life.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Simply Because

Simply because I have nothing witty to say or anything remotely exciting to repeat... I give you pictures. Enjoy.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008