Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Guilt

Occasionally, I get "uncomfortable" when breast-feeding. And when I say occasionally, I mean it's only happened five times in the last 20 months.

And when I say "uncomfortable" I mean, I get antsy when she nurses. I get this odd feeling, like I have to get her off my boob in record time or I get squeamish. My stomach gets nervous and jumpy, like I'm having an anxiety attack.

Does that make any sense?

I always feel so guilty when this happens, but I can't help it. It comes out of no-where, blindsides me that a brickwall. I am so caught off guard that I don't know how to handle it. My whole body feels it and I find myself tapping my toes and twiddling my fingers to distract myself from the feeling.

I have no idea what this means and since it's only happened five times out of the last trillion times I've nursed her, I never thought to ask my doctor.

Or maybe I never asked (or told anyone this) b/c I'm embarrassed. Embarrassed that my beautiful little daughter could cause such turmoil in me.

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4 comments:

tamara said...

Imagine the guilt I feel for not even trying to nurse either if my kids. All mothers have those feelings from time to time, and I think none of us know what to do with them when they hit. Just relax, and keep on doing what you feel is right for you and your child. That's my two cents for the day.

Rachel said...

this used to happen to me all the time. Mostly when I had things around the house I needed to take care of.

don't feel guilty, we try to do our best as mommies. no one is mary poppins all the time. :P

Jennifer said...

Well, I was never able to BF for very long--but what you're talking about sounds totally normal! Don't worry about it and don't feel guilty!!

Thanks for stopping by my blog yesterday!! I love your header!!

Ginette said...

Oh my gosh...I use to have this feeling too. I never did figure out why and none of my friends knew what I was talking about.